PMS all over your face! 2006

so...earlier today all my music made me cry because I am pms-ing HARD! I was listing to "Let go" by Frau Frau.

"Let go, jump in, its what you're waiting for....there's beauty in the breakdown."

Frau Frau gave me permission and I broke down. Mostly I was happy because I found a song that might calm me the fuck down when I get myself into a "what about my future" tizzy. The future is incredibly uncertain right now. I most likely won't be going to grad school because no one wants me. Except UCLA let me into the master of public health program. Basically its like, hey, you weren't good enough for us to pay you, but we'll let you take a few classes for 20K a year? How's that sound?

And then everyone is asking what you're doing every goddam second...like, hello, I didn't know when you asked me that 16 hours ago...I still don't.

Then the music got worse, I was only partially tearing to frau frau...Antony came on hoping he had someone to hold him and fearing the middle place after death. I was worried he had AIDS and was afraid and alone. Jared later reminded me that Antony probably has lots of friends and isn't alone.

Then, my favorite Sufjan Stevens song about a friend who dies of bone cancer. Honestly, its like i didn't have a choice at that point.

I recovered and we ate dinner and then we went to help Jared's advisor move tables for the Science Fair of which he is a main organizer. I admit I was already cranky..lets put that out there. There were too many people helping, not enough to do and a lot of standing around. Jared and Jesse were talking about their code which sounds like this:

"What we had was fs-min but that wasn't working so I tried fs integral."
"Yeah, I tried that too but the fix was temporary."
"Its definitely in the fs"
"Oh I know that I worked on it all weekend."
"I tried forcing it to choose one"
"I did the same thing with a conditional loop."

blah blah blah. I explored the fieldhouse for awhile but was a tid bit scared of running into the janitor guys one of which snapped a rubber glove at us and asked (in a scary voice) if we wanted to blow up balloons. um..lemme think.....no.

in a fit of utter crankiness, i pulled my keys out of jared's pocket, informed jesse that he would be bringing jared home, and said I was leaving.
Jared: Why?
Jasmine: Because this is fucking boring!
Jared: I love you!
Jasmine: I love you too! Harumph.

But honestly, why stand in a field house listening to people talk about computer code when you could be at home with your cats and your laptop and your tivo?? The kitties are being killer adorable right now.

The one thing that is certain is that if we stay in missoula we are:
1) moving above ground
2) getting a dog that is small enough to play with irma and ramen

Humdrum

Elements of our life at the moment:

1. It was thinking about being spring. Until this morning when it snowed 3 inches. the high is supposed to be 39 so it better melt.

2. Ramen's new thing is to ram his head into my hand while i'm sleeping and demand that I pet his head. If I don't, I get the familiar whack. I've also been chasing him around the house trying to cut off his gross dreads. He doesn't like this. Because of said dreads, he has narly dandruff. Luckily, he's heartbreakingly adorable. Irma is neurotic and perfect.

3. We turned a spare computer into a tivo....its not quite finished yet because the tv tuner we have is crappy. The new one is getting here monday. The program also has local weather, news headlines, lets us watch slideshows of our photos on the tv, and play music accompanied by weird wiggly lines. Its pretty fun. The only thing that sucks is that its controlled by the keyboard which isn't wireless. BUT the new tv tuner(thing that goes into the computer) comes with a remote. Hurray! Now I can record all of the back episodes of project runway that play at 4am and I'll have antique roadshow up the wazoo!

4. Ah, sweet rejection. I haven't heard from all the schools yet but so far the news isn't good. For awhile I sunk into such a deep depression that Jared indulged virtually whatever I wanted. (You want to move to Arkansas, ok, lets look into it. Is it time to get candy?) So I guess its good for something.

5. We found and retrieved Jared's bike which was stolen a year ago out of our backyard. He spotted it in front of the UC and we dealt with a very old, beaurocratic security officer. Luckily, the bike shop where he got it originally still had record of the purchase and the serial number. We feel a little bad knowing that the person who was riding it might not have been the person who stole it, but oh well. stolen property and all that. On the same morning, Jared got banned from his video game for cheating using a robot. Now his obsessed with 'equivalent trade'.

6. I got rum flavoring on my phone charger and now its broken. So don't call me.

7. I made delicious enchiladas on friday. And by delicious, i mean I used a pound of cheese.

8. I got an Andy Warhol plate at target for $2.

9. I probably need a haircut. I haven't gotten one since August when I needed cheering up in the airport when I missed my flight home.

10. Dishes? Piling up since last weekend. Laundry? all over the floor. Bathroom? Smells like shit.