salad?

so yesterday, i went to helena to see my grandparents and my dad and stepmom. my dad and stepmom were there to deal deal with the immigration people for the 10,000th time. but now its called homeland security....gotta keep those canadian naturopaths out of the country. they could be terrorists. chemical warfare, one herbal patient at a time.

we had lunch at my grandma's house....we had cold turkey adn 3 different "salads." The minute my grandma said the word salad, my warning bell came on. Salad, in that house, has nothing to do with lettuce and/or vegetables. Salads usually involve cool whip. And i was not proved wrong.

The first salad, which i passed on because I don't eat sweet potatoes, was mashed sweet potatoes, chopped celerly, and chopped hard boiled egg. It looked like vomit/diarrhea.

The second salad was fruit cocktail and grape hemispheres mixed with coolwhip.

The third salad was canned peaches under a heavy blanket of coolwhip mixed with jello powder, which creates sort of a pink, fluffy, granular foam.

And that was lunch. I had a cranberry muffin and about 12 slices of turkey and i was still hungry. then i spotted a pie on the counter. i boldly asked, "is that pie and can we eat it?" thank god for cherry pie.

and later, thank god for mckenzie river pizza co. where they serve salads that contain broccoli and lettuce. Note: there is a "salad" that contains broccoli and lettuce but i think it might also contain shredded carrots, pinapple, raisins and coolwhip. always coolwhip.

Bad Jasmine!

Lately, I've been being so bad. I'll be sitting on the couch, playing snood, watching Law and Order and I'll think, "Gee, there's probably a lot of stuff I should be doing." Then I list those things in my head, confirm that they are, in fact, important and that I am in a position to do them. THEN, I just go back to watching Law and Order. The will-power I once had to do the unpleasant, seems to have disappeared altogether. Where has it gone?

I'm fairly certain its in the same place as half of my socks, last year's W2's, and the strands of hair that Ramen surreptitiously removes from my head.

Thats right, he's at it again folks. And now his region of choice is much closer to the front of my head. Lucky me. My new plan is to make a sort of showercap-like contraption made of scarf cloth so that it won't be too hot but hopefully it won't fall off my head.

Jared and I at New Years.....Notice my fantastic glittery eyelashes! 

back that ass up...oh, i mean, back that hard drive up

It seems even the most skillfull computer users can manage to delete his entire E drive. The difference is, it happens when he's messing around in Linux rather than receiving a virus attached to a forward about angels.

Yes, its true....jared deleted all his mp3s, movies, and pictures. Luckily, most mp3s and movies, pirated once, can be pirated again. I had a lot of his photos on my hard drive, but not all. So, if we have ever sent you digi pictures and you still have them, puleeze send them back to me so i can save them. Also, send along any great pictures of you and yours (I'm just now realizing that I will now be receiving a lot of pictures of my friends with all their stray cats ;)

Not much happening here....its snowing big, chunky flakes adn the kitties are stretched out licking each other. Anyone who knows how to test for pointwise convergence of a series should post me a comment about it. Likewise, anyone who knows how to prove the sum of a series is a certain value should do the same.

I was looking at graduate programs online yesterday. I found a bunch of Phd programs in epidemiology that look really cool. And unlike medical school, i'm actually qualified to apply for these programs. AND i could get TAships and tuition waivers unlike medical school. AND i would most likely not deal with old people who say their tongue hurts on a daily basis. I wrote to 4 of them asking for more info. One is in Atlanta and one is Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Jared made really bad faces when i mentioned these names so we'll see. The other two are in Seattle and Tucson which we have already been considering.

We went to a big birthday celebration at Applebees yesterday for basically everyone in Jared's extended family. They have 4 birthdays in about 3 days. I wasn't feeling well so when I got my chicken caesar salad and the chicken smelled like cat poo and made me want to vomit, i thought i was just being over sensitive. I tried to eat once piece and sort of chocked it down but then I pushed all the chicken aside and just ate my lettuce. Later, when someone asked me why I wasn't eating the chicken and I mentioned that it sort of smelled funny. Everyone at the table took turns smelling it and making comments like,"That is not right!" and "Chicken is not supposed to smell like that." I was relieved that it wasn't just me but a little worried about the piece i had already eaten. So, I got a free dinner and an evening of nausea. I was almost glad when i found out that the cake was pineapple cake, cuz i wouldn't even be TEMPTED to eat some and get even sicker.

I am responsible for these dudes. Hair update: I now have a very fine mohawk down my center part due to one voracious kitty. That little shit. He's lucky i love him.  

I really wish I could say I was responsible for this picture but i'm not. Is that a huge lime or a small head? Maybe its a papaya.... 

ahhhhh....Monday

Happy Valentines Day Everybody!!! xoxoxoxo

Jared jumped out of bed at 8am this morning, scaring me half to death, but returning with roses. So I forgave him. As Mondays go, this one isn't turning out to be so bad.

n*chai + jasmine = managing to stay awake and aware during complex analysis
aha!! i've found the secret to success. unfortunately:

n*chai + jasmine = pee < 45 minutes. the hitch in my brilliant plan.

The snow did bog me down a bit....

someone: "Look! a winter wonderland!"
jasmine: "Ugh! winter crap-land"

I also spent 15 minutes in chemistry lecture until I realized that I don't have chemistry today, only the people in the lab do. I was like, dammit! when is she going to get on with it. i don't care what's going on in lab. fifteen minutes. c'mon jasmine

....the hair that comes out

Every night is a battle...a battle to keep my hair. I'm terrified of the clicking sound ramen makes when he's licking my hair. Licking, licking, then chewing off.

The first time it happened, I was upset briefly, and then i thought, its just hair. Why be a shallow bitch about it? The second time it happened, i thought, i better do something about this. so i started sleeping in a winter hat but it was too hot. then i started sleeping in a scarf, alla bryn mawr lesbian with greasy hair. but jared said i looked like a cancer patient. He had a point until i realized that if i didn't wear it, i'd really look like a cancer patient. all the time, not just at night. So, a lesbian scarf it shall be.

Unfortunately, the scarf falls off, so until I learn to sleep with my eyes open, going to sleep is a gamble. And i have a region of tufts on the left back quadrant of my head that mandates a side part and careful combing. I can't believe i'm perfecting a comb-over at 23.

I know a lot of people would say the solution is locking Ramen out of the bedroom, but that i cannot do. He's too cute and it would be too cruel.

In other news, I've decided to write a children's books of mathematical proofs for college students. It would be big and tall like a picture book with lots of colors and lots of white space. Maybe it should have some flaps and pop-ups too! This may or may not be my dorkiest endeavor ever.

Movie recommendations for the day: Lagaan- Once upon a time in India, House at the End of the World